12 self-care rituals that have actually made a difference

Turn-down service at home, midday "everything showers," and foot masks

If there’s a self-care article, meme, or video promising to help me stress less, sleep better, or somehow unlock inner peace through lemon water, I’m all in. Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all, and there’s no magic fix, but I have found a handful of habits that actually make a difference. So here are 12 semi-recent self-care things I’ve tried that have stuck - and genuinely helped.

Monday lunch dates. There’s something about having a lunch date planned with a girlfriend on a Monday that’s just the best. I recognize not everyone has a flexible schedule that allows for this, but if you do, take advantage of it! It gives you something to look forward to, provides inspiration, and kicks off the week in such a positive way.

No phone for the first hour in the morning. I’d fallen into the all-too-familiar trap of grabbing my phone right after waking up. I’d check texts, reply to friends, answer emails, respond to DMs, and then…end up on TikTok. I’d mindlessly pick up my phone several times while making coffee and preparing Sloan’s breakfast - checking the weather, looking something up, and without even realizing it, I’d wasted way too much time - precious time that should have been spent with my family.

We’ve since implemented a new rule for G and me: no phones for the first hour. I hate it when people are too preachy about phone usage since we all know it’s not great for our attention span, dopamine levels, and overall well-being. But that hour has made me feel far less dependent on my phone during other parts of my day when I would have reached for it without much thought. And as cheesy as it sounds, I’m so much more present and now relish those few moments in bed after I’ve just woken up - listening to the birds, breathing in the fresh air, talking with G, and thinking about the day ahead.

Sunday midday “everything shower.” Typically, I shower when I have to get ready for something: in the morning before work, after exercise, or before going out. Rarely do I shower to go nowhere. But there’s something so indulgent about an “everything shower” when I have the time to luxuriate in all the steps. I’ll light a candle, apply a hair mask, exfoliate, shave, and eventually appear refreshed and glowy. Sometimes I’ll paint my nails, apply self-tanner, and style my hair when I want to wake up on Monday morning feeling like I’ve won at life, but other times I float downstairs with wet hair, a flowy nightgown, and promptly pour myself a glass of cold rosé. It’s like a choose-your-own shower adventure.

Workout accountability partner. When I played team sports growing up, I gladly went to practice five days a week because…I had to! But when I’m left to my own devices, staying consistent with exercise quickly falls to the bottom of my priority list. Left unchecked, I can easily slip into a sloth-like state without hesitation. Around the beginning of the year, my friend Brooke and I started texting each other daily as a touch base, and that’s been enormously helpful. And while trying to hold one another accountable to exercise, or at least get some movement in, the team mentality and encouragement to be kind to ourselves has made the most significant difference.

Hobbies just for fun. I’ve been painting with watercolors for a few years, and it’s such a lovely way to decompress. I’ll typically do it while watching TV or listening to a podcast and then end up with cute cards and name tags that are always a hit with my friends.

I love to burn this candle to mark the beginning of spring

Scents for different times. I’m a big believer in wearing certain scents for specific occasions. When I’m sad, I reach for a perfume that reminds me of my mom (Chypre Mojo). If I need to energize myself, I’ll wear a scent I did right out of college (Burberry Brit). After a bath, when I’m most relaxed, I’ll spritz Antonia’s Flowers, a discontinued perfume I cherish that always makes me happy.

Turn-down service. One of my favorite luxuries at fancy hotels is turn-down service -when your room is quietly transformed for bedtime while you’re out. You return to dimmed lights, pulled-back covers, drawn curtains, and maybe even slippers waiting by the bed. Lately, I’ve started doing a version of that at home, and when we come up for bed, everything feels calm and inviting - it’s such a small gesture, but it creates the most peaceful transition into sleep.

Mindful eating. At my high school cafeteria, I remember getting the same snack at break every day: a massive bread roll the size of my head. I’d inhale it and within the hour, I’d be ravenous and lethargic. My love of carbs hasn’t diminished, but in the last few months, I’ve tried to make a more conscious effort to make each meal more balanced. If I’m making pancakes on a Sunday morning, I’ll still have some, but instead of a stack with nothing else but maple syrup, I’ll now add some scrambled eggs and a couple of slices of turkey bacon. It feels like a nice compromise as I’m not saying “no” to a food group, but rather adding other elements to ensure I don’t crash shortly thereafter.

A foot mask with legs propped up while watching TV. It feels productive and indulgent but with zero effort. Add popcorn if you want to make the most of your evening.

Obsessed with these foot masks

Nighttime music. A while back, I made Sloan an evening playlist with several songs that welcomed the end of the day and immediately set the tone for a relaxing night. We both had an almost Pavlovian response to it every time we heard the chords of that first song, and I have no idea why it took me so long to make one for myself. I’ll turn it on when I get in the bath, wash my face, brush my teeth, and it signals the end of the day in a lovely way. Bonus: I love listening to it while away from home before bed because it creates a comforting, familiar setting.

Make my physical health a priority. I’ve had neck and back issues for a loooong time, but I only recently started working on a routine to address them. I see a Physical Therapist once a week and get Rolfing, which uses deep manipulation of the body's fascia to release restrictions and improve body alignment. Neither is particularly enjoyable, but I’ve noticed a big difference in how I feel.

Weekend morning vs regular day morning. I like that even the most minor adjustments to our weekend mornings make them feel different (and more special). We play classical music, make pour-over coffee (instead of using our machine), and light floral candles to set the tone for the rest of the weekend.

Know the things that bring you out of a funk. I tend to want to stay in and do nothing when feeling off. But it’s not actually what’s best for me. Knowing that I will feel better if I do the following: exercise (even if it’s just a 20-minute walk), listen to fun music, meet up with friends, and prepare a healthy, but not sad, meal.

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